Talk Indian to Me

It was a Saturday night when I found myself headed to a CD release party at a local bar, Tree-house. I decided to perform a first – rock an Indian head dress. It is typical to see people wearing them to raves and parties, but the reason I chose to wear one was not so I could ‘rage’ in front of a crowd.

I had been fascinated with this head dress that casually sits on display at the Blue Rose Cafe. Nearly perfectly intact and obviously hand-made. The owner, Tom Dittus, was so uneasy about letting me borrow it…which I understand why.

This headdress had feathers that hung to the middle of my back… beads that went across my forehead. It was much more than what it seemed and I could feel that when I ran my fingers across the feathers that grew from the cap.

The reason feathers are in a headdress?

Individual feathers were actually awarded for acts of bravery. Typically, the feathers came from eagles because that was considered by most tribes as the most powerful bird.

A feather headdress or better known as a war bonnet were worn by tribes in the great plains for battles. Hence the name ‘war bonnet’. Eventually they grew into ceremonial wear and were integrated into tribes that had not originally worn them for battle but had adopted the wearing of them for ceremonies as a sign of authority.

These war bonnets were so important that great warriors had to have permission from leaders of the tribe to wear them, much like I had to have permission to wear this one.

They were not only beautiful (which didn’t really matter to tribes) but were magical in that they were believed to protect the wearer. Not only did they have to earn every feather, they had to personally kill the eagle at a ceremony to make the headdress. The headdress of a chief was a bit different as feathers were awarded for good deeds performed for his community.

Headdresses were never worn by women. Essentially the character of a warrior or a chief could be seen in the types of feathers upon his headdress. They grew into something to be worn to special occasions.

Yes I had to spill that knowledge across the page because this is what happened to me this weekend. I left Blue Rose wearing this amazing headdress by the good graces of the owner. Walking into the parking lot I immediately heard from the valet workers(who might I added started to make the typical pow wow sounds by patting their mouth and yelling as they did so) the following:

How!

…to which I replied, ‘Hi.’

I then found myself on the patio of the Tree-house sporting this headdress which is getting commentary. I wore it for a little bit inside as Montu was playing then gravitated to the patio. As I am having a discussion with someone I just met, a young woman walks by the patio and I hear,

“Hey!…Hey!”

I turn around to see a bleach blonde girl who is already hostile toward me.

“Are you a REAL indian!?” she yelled.

I was shocked at how angry she already was. She repeated herself after I said, “Excuse me?”

I replied, “Yes, I am.”

She immediately replies, “Talk Indian to me.”

Again I am shocked because her ignorance panties were beginning to show…

“What?” I laughed a little as I asked this.

“Talk Indian to me! Do you know the language?!”

In which my best friend pipes up behind me and says ‘Hello’ in Choctaw. Unfortunately this girl did not hear her.

My only response when she drunkenly yelled again, “TALK INDIAN TO ME!” was this:

“No.”

She then told me I wasn’t a real Indian and stormed off to the Mercury Lounge across the street. The last image I saw of her face was something distorted, troll like and hideous. It wasn’t her I was seeing…it was her ignorance. Her disrespect. Her stupidity. 

This is my official response to you, nameless drunk girl. You are not a real American because you cannot speak English properly. If you did you would have said, “Speak (Insert ANY tribe name here) to me!” But you didn’t. Language, my dear child is a very old and evolving creature that you clearly do not understand. You saw a headdress and maybe something instinctual in your little head told you to attack. After all, I was wearing a war bonnet which were worn in the past during battle. Blood was spilled around those headdresses. On this land. Something in you forced you to lash out at me, not only interrupting my conversation but making you look like the idiot. I feel sorry for you. I hope one day you have the self respect enough to learn how to speak properly.

 I will stand up  here and now in response to what I have seen. These headdresses that you kids are wearing to ‘raves’ and shows. Know this: What you have on your sweaty undeserving head has deep painful ties to a culture that once owned this land. They were worn in battle. In protection of a land that was stolen. Protection of tribes and families that were murdered, burned and raped. The ground you walk upon is soaked in blood, and yet the shameless wearing of these headdresses continues. The shameless use of offensive mascots continues. The disregard for the Indian government continues. Disregard for minorities continues.

After this happened to me I was so deeply offended that I took the headdress and spent an hour studying every detail in it. There was something I felt when I held it, when I ran my fingers across the feathers and the beads. It was a deeper connection than I could understand. Something that had been with me much longer than I knew. I was drawn to it for a reason. The reason is lost in the recycling of this universe and maybe one day I will get it… but for now, all I have is this feeling that forces me to stand up and say,

It is time for respect. This country is wrong and oppressive.

We will be heard.

Is that  Indian enough for you?

Who We Are

 The following is a document created in a Facebook work group that was created for friendly conversation and shift exchange. It is a response to certain examples of improper business etiquette/ethic. It is a message to my soon to be former coworkers of the Tulsa location of Mi Cocina. The workers of this restaurant are beautiful and all extremely intelligent people. In no way is this a negative post about a particular restaurant it is a post with a demand for corporate social responsibility.

 

Copy. Paste. Go.

 

Who We Are

 

This group is a mere example of how all business should be ran: by the people. Corporations have a nasty habit of putting a lot of power into only a few sets of hands and continue running a business with only an increasing respect for those particular sets of hands. It’s not right and shouldn’t be how an economy is ran. This is why it is falling apart. Great minds think alike but don’t share knowledge and in turn don’t share wealth or success. Greed will kill us.

 

We are hard working beautiful people who show love and respect for each other and guests. It is proper business etiquette to respect everyone below and above you. Work together and success will come. Don’t compete, you are a family. Don’t ever accept disrespect. You are a valued commodity to any business you work for and if you don’t treat yourself as a valued source…neither will the company. If they bluntly show you they do not value you as an employee; work elsewhere. If any company shows you this they are practicing improper business ethic and etiquette on an inhuman level. Recognize greed breeds improper business methods and in turn causes a downfall in morale.

 

Quite literally, we are blue collar workers. This doesn’t mean we should receive any type of treatment that would make us question whether or not we belong at a company or whether or not we are an excellent employee. A level of micromanaging and certain styles of management should increase morale and encourage staff not embarrass them about a mistake or isolate certain groups of workers as ‘the best’.

 

 

Refuse elitism. Refuse a set group of trainers. When you isolate one small group as ‘the best’ you will always only have one small group of ‘the best’.

 

This group is for conversation and shift exchange. Nothing anyone says or does in this social networking group should be micromanaged or looked at with judgment, especially from any level of management.

 

Treat this group as if you were all sitting at a dining room table together sharing bottles of wine and friendly stories; it is what we end up doing anyway. Be kind and respectful. Become cultured. Meet your tables: they are important people. Meet the back of house: they are important people. Meet each other.

 

It is a rare group of people that will change things for the better. Collected intelligence is a beautiful thing, only when used in way that is progressive for a society as a whole. When I say society, I mean world. It is a group of people that will stand up against inequality at every level that will change things. It is who we are. We are the people and we have more power than we give ourselves credit for.

 

Work like you don’t need the money. When it comes down to it…you don’t. You’re a slave to money until you die. Don’t forget what’s important: each other.

 

 

Remember it’s not who you shake hands with…

 

 

…it’s how.

 

Tax Season

Yeah so every year I have been using turbo tax

This year I just decided to give them an honest rating on what I think of their site. I gave them a 2 out of 10 on how likely I was to recommend it to a friend. They then had a text box pop up asking the reasons on why I gave them that rating, this is pretty much what I said:

 

‘I have a few reasons. Your constant advertising to upgrade is annoying. You should promote the fact that you can learn alot about credits/deductions via your site. The public would enjoy this information (especially those camped out in front of your favorite coffee vendor on WallStreet) If information like this was promoted to the public maybe people would know a little bit more about credits/deductions & maybe our economy wouldn’t be what it is today. Your ‘processing’ fees are ridiculous. I will pay them. Honestly because it has taken me a hour and a half to navigate through all of the upgrade advertisements. You can have my 60ish dollars.Think about getting a new marketing director.If you would like to personally apologize for stealing this time from me or if you would like to buy a few ideas from me… sam.fletcher@okstate.edu’

 

 

Boom. Intelligence.

Troll Chat Adventures

This is part 1 of many to come of:

Troll Chat Adventures

(I enjoyed trolling this random chat site so much that it has become a new hobby of mine)

— 

 

I introduce:

Omegle.com

 

Where you are randomly connected to a rando from somewhere in the world.

You can’t see or hear them.

No more penises!?

So naturally I messed with ALL of them…

 Also…if this becomes an obsession I may start a new blog and or site entitled

 

 

Troll Chat Adventures

 

 

Do I know if it has been done yet?

Nah.

Yet I don’t care.

 

6 am trolling begins…

(Mild content warning)

 

I am ‘You’ and yes the site really does label the person you’re chatting with as ‘Stranger’.

 The top of the page gives a default greeting:

 

 

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

 

1

 

Stranger: looking for a female to be naughty on webcam

You: by be naughty can i poop on screen

You: ive eaten so much it will be amazing

Stranger: are u female

Stranger: ?

You: yes

Stranger: ok skype?

You: lol what you wanna watch me shit hahahhahahahah

You: dude…get a magazine

You: you are desp

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

2

You: helllooooooo

You: jerry

Stranger: asl

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

 

 

3

Stranger: hi

Stranger: m or f

You: random stranger wooooooo

You: im a random stranger i cant tell you that

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

4

Stranger: hi

You: hi

You: whats your name

Stranger: m f

You: nah get interesting

You: talk

Stranger: piç

You: where are you from

You: youre not getting interesting

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

5

 

(Previous conversation bits withheld)

…

You: do you know who youre talking to

Stranger: no

You: i work for playboy.

Stranger: ohhhhh dats amazing

You: ive lived here in the mansion since I was 18

Stranger: wats ur name

You: idk if i should tell you to be honest

Stranger: im a lucku

Stranger: lucky guy

Stranger: den

You: youre lucky?

Stranger: ya tq to talking to me

You: no just in the right place at the right time

Stranger: i wish i could touch u once

Stranger: wats ur name

Stranger: don say eva… il go mad

You: …

Stranger: yyy

You: tell me about yourself

Stranger: wat happ

You: im not eva

You: but i am close with her

Stranger: im a sw engg

Stranger: ohhh

You: you make no sense

Stranger: thats amazing

You: type things

You: yeah

Stranger: im a software engg

You: for

You: who

Stranger: can u meke me talk to her

Stranger: verizon

You: can you google something for me

Stranger: ya sure

You: yeah i dont know how

You: but anyway

Stranger: can u add me on yahooo

You: maybe

You: if you google something for me

You: i just want a definition for: gullible.

Stranger: the thing is im chatting from phone

You: is it a noun a verb?

Stranger: one sec

You: or is it now just something i cause

You: every day out of boredom

Stranger: im doin it

You: omg yaya

You: what does it mean!?

Stranger: never feeling bored

You: no

You: did you find anything with your picture

You: when you googled gullible

You: ?

Stranger: Z

Stranger: noo

You: lol now i just feel cruel.

Stranger: y

Stranger: deceived

Stranger: or dooed

Stranger: duped

Stranger: so u say im duped by. u

You: what does THAT word mean!?

You: ah duped

Stranger: ha ha

You: yea

Stranger: u deceived me

You: i duped your shit

Stranger: ol

Stranger: i like to be duped

You: yeah im going to keep going through and hitting next and duping people

You: becauseeeeeee its funny

Stranger: coool hav fun

Stranger: ya cool go on

You: now go really google the word gullible. add your picture

 

 Eva Cifrova

Yeah, total image of cybering.

 

 

 

6

Stranger: hi

You: please dont be stupid

Stranger: i’ll try

Stranger: O_O

You: i know

You: its hard for some

You: (thats what he said)

Stranger: who said ?

You: him

Stranger: who says

You: the sayer of all things perverted

You: its usually she

Stranger: who says u r no perfect

You: which in reality it is a he

Stranger: who says u r not worth it

You: the government

Stranger: lol !!!!

You: listen

You: can you step up the conversation some

You: tell me an interesting fact or something

Stranger: where you from ?

You: thats not an interesting fact dude

Stranger: you are dude !

You: im from america where ranch dressing is king

Stranger: do it like a brother

Stranger: do it like a dude

You: im a girl actuallly

Stranger: oops (?)

You: yeah oops now im going to slap you in the face with my GIANT WEINER

You: ::smayuck::

You: all up in your face stranger

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

 

7

Stranger: asl?

You: wtf does that MEAN

You: its provocative

You: it gets the people goin

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

 

8

Stranger: hi

You: hi

You: can i ask your opinion?

Stranger: yes

You: ass or titties?

Stranger: fuck you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 I guess they weren’t three 6 mafia fans…

 

A lot of the convos I’m withholding: they were too scary.

Fact: If you stay on Omegle long enough they bring in a third party who asks a question but can not type anything and has to watch asyou and a stranger discuss the question…

(Yes you also have the option to ask the question and be the third party watching)

Keep in mind I asked none of these questions I was only one of the parties discussing (‘you’ is still me)

1

Question to discuss: I’m a Brony

You: whats a brony

You: it sounds like a noodle

Stranger: Ur mom

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 O__0

 Good one.

 

2

Question to discuss: Is homosexuality okay, why, why not? (Argument against, If all people were gay on this planet we would not exist. So why is it okay if it is a threat against humanity?

Stranger: It’s hardly a threat to humanity if not everyone is gay.

You: its not a threat

You: its natural

You: there are gay animals.

You: homosexuality occurs in nature

You: therefore its nothing to reject

Stranger: What the other person said.

You: and only ignorant to do so

You: yeah.

You: the one threat against humanity

You: is ignorance

You: its what every problem boils down to

Stranger: I don’t quite see how it’s anyone’s business, anyway. If someone’s gay, that shouldn’t offend anyone else because it’s not like they’re forcing you to do anything differently.

Your conversational partner has disconnected

 I could have save dthem too if they had not disconnected.

 

 

 

 

3

Question to discuss: why are there so many little fucking inedible stems in this packet of frozen mixed vegetables i am currently having a serving of in a bowl?

You: thats how it is with everything good my friend

You: you must at some point or another pick out the stems

You: ok random who isnt talking

You: quit bullshitting the herbivore

You: possibly omnivore

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

 

 

4

Question to discuss: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen TARDIS?

Stranger: hi

You: CHUCK NORRIS’ PENIS

Stranger: he ok

 Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

 

More chat Troll Chat Adventures to come…

&

 Your blogger has disconnected.

Day Uno in the 2012

Today was the first day of the year.

I feel as if I dont record this day it will be lost in my memory forever (like so many other things my mind has pulled into it’s vortex and devoured)

Today I had to work. Yeah big deal, a lot of people have to work on New Years day. Ah, but I was determined to not dread the first day of this year. So today I made an effort to actually talk to the people I was bringing random meals to & I am so happy I did.

I asked most of my tables what their new year’s goal was…not resolution…but goal.

I got some really interesting responses.

There were a few who were determined to run a marathon, which in all honesty thats a great goal. More power to the ‘thon runners out there.

(Get it boy)

 

Some set out to be healthier eaters (and then sheepishly boxed up their food immediately after claiming it)

One girl said her goal was to travel more, I asked to where? Out of the country? She said no because that would probably cost too much. When she said that I actually grew a little sad for her. I only told her to travel anywhere.

In the array of responses I got back I noticed one thing, people are dead set on improving themselves. This is why I avoided the cliche term ‘resolution’, I asked for a goal. Something they wanted to do in 2012.

I loved asking this. People seem to be thrown off when someone who essentially is a complete stranger wants to talk to them. Yet…they actually like being thrown off…

Ah I am not even to the coolest part of my story. Amongst these groups of people (I’d say to today I mingled with 30-40 ish brand new people I had never spoken to before)

 Aside from asking this random ‘Hey I may have been up all night too’ new years goal question to all of these people, I took the time to tell them my 2012 goal. It is to skydive somewhere outside of Oklahoma. I want to be dropped in somewhere I have never been but I want it to breath takingly beautiful (i dont care where only if it is scenic)

Imagine being dropped in somewhere you have never been before. Somewhere so beautiful it makes tears come to your eye. Yeah. I want that.

About 5 tables in I met a man who was indeed a seasoned sky diver in his days and claimed he had dropped out of a 757 something (twice!)…i may be misquoting already but…it was a large plane of some sort…

Ah but this man who I assumed was in his 60s (that’s how old his wife was we discussed health and somehow her age came up) was so connected to my goal. This man was connected to me through something I had been telling people about all day. I would have never even known until I decided to just keep talking to these oh so beautifully random people.

All of them…were so amazing. If I were to actually have a resolution for this year …it will be this…have as many conversations as possible. The deeper the better.

This is my resolution because today just by really talking to everyone I came into contact with  I remembered how connected we all really are.

 

Once you remember this, I think, anything is possible.

Here’s to the New Year. Mine was absolutely insanely amazing.  Ah but that story we will save for another day…

Intake

Intake

Every day you take in air, food, water. Your intake is how you survive. You take in things in as you need them. What about things you don’t need? (or told you don’t need)

Yeah, I’m talking about drugs.

 This post is mostly in response to something someone said to me about drugs. What they said represents a stigma against users to the very core. I type these words with nothing more than a raised eyebrow:

‘There is nothing wrong with drugs; only the people who use them…’

I couldn’t disagree with this statement more.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:HarmCausedByDrugsTable.jpg

What a pretty chart, huh?

I thought so.

There is nothing wrong with someone who uses. Only when said drug takes over the majority of someone’s life and is abused, then a ‘wrong’ surfaces.

Man has been altering the mind with substances for centuries. It is only human to toy with personal perception.

To make a statement dividing users in the way that this statement did disconnects users and non users as if they aren’t of the same origin. It separates a group of people. Separation of a species only causes downfall. We are all one.

The only thing wrong with ALL people is having a lack of control. People want to feel good. I believe addiction and abuse come from a gluttonous mindset. That attitude of wanting more and more, in my opinion stems somewhere from this commercial materialism that larger societies have adapted.

We are constantly upgrading, wanting more, adding on, accumulating. Of course if someone takes a certain type of drug and likes it, they will want more of it.

 …depending on the drug. There are a number of drugs I would deem as ‘dirty’ or ‘bad’ but that’s my personal opinion and I believe everyone has that set of substances they believe to be OK and not OK (and for respect’s sake those drugs I don’t agree with will remain nameless) That is why they are called drugs of choice. You have a choice. Some don’t choose a drug at all. They choose something else to focus their energy on. For some religion replaces a pill. Shopping. Going out to eat. Addiction goes much further than chemical reactions…

It can even be seen in the 12 steps program which gradually replaces an addiction with a belief in a higher power. An addiction for an addiction.

My only advice to anyone who considers using anything: Know what you’re putting in your body. The more you know; the more control you have. Once you harness that control and also have a social consciousness in relation to that drug you will have chosen the right thing to do because you are informed.

Knowledge is power. Anything that helps you expand that power is well worth your time. Life is about spiritual connection and experience. Anything that helps you reach that is a must.

I don’t agree with the usage of certain drugs, yet I agree with the frequent and responsible usage of some.

Free your mind. Don’t numb it.

Oh World…

 

Recently Mother Nature has been tearing through Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas and especially areas in and around Joplin, Missouri.

 

She’s been ripping through buildings with tornadoes and monster storms. Sucking people out of their homes.  It is a terrible thing and my heart goes out to everyone who lost something, someone or for most people everything.

 

 

It is a painful thing. Losing the life you once knew. Loss is a part of this life though. Sometimes we must sigh in dismay and try not to blame anyone/anything.

 

Especially out of irrationality…

 

 

The immediate and obvious response is to blame Sarah Palin.

 

The announcement that she is indeed running for president has caused whatever energy out there that is God to punish the bible belt. God has clearly casted his vote babe…

We could call this the real rapture.

 

After all, where was God at 6 pm on that Saturday afternoon? Good job Camping, see you in October. I predict that you will cause tons of ridiculous rapture costumes. Which personally, I am quite excited for. Well done sir.

We could blame each other.

 

 

 

 That whole global warming thing could actually be causing extreme weather due to our overconsumption.

 

 

Nah, it’s never our fault right?

 

 

 

We could blame Osama Bin Laden.

 

Oh wait. No we can’t, not anymore. 

Nevermind on that one.

- __-

 

It’s a funny thing living in tornado alley. The siren goes off and you see people run outside and stare up into the sky searching for something insanely amazing.

In all seriousness though, true story on loss: last night I was driving to a ‘safe’ area to get away from a possible tornado massacre. A hospital. Where I could supposedly be safe in a basement. On my way this comes on the radio in between tornado warnings on the radio:

Why do I always find myself in ironic situations? I’ve decided not to question it anymore and only answer it with a raised eyebrow and a laugh. Anyway, I arrive at the hospital where they have herded visitors into two waiting areas. The surgery waiting room and the cafeteria. Were we underground? No. Both rooms were filled with noise and the smell of people.

You know that feeling of being in an overcrowded elevator? It’s hot. It smells…odd. Eventually someone gets too close to you and you no longer have a bubble and all you want to do is get the eff out of there.

That was this waiting area. Every chair taken. The TV lost signal repeatedly. At one moment my irritation dissipated. How did I find calm? I watched a nurse come in and take an old man to his wife because she wanted him with her.

It made me realize one thing. Fear is a shared emotion. We are a shared concoction of cells and emotions all thrown into this planet we call home. All we can do is hold each others’ hands in response to this confusion tornado we call life.

As I looked around at all of the people in this room. Fat. Short. Old. Young. Skinny. Tall. Beautiful. Ugly. Bored. Anxious. Tired. Occupied. I paused, breathed in the humid anxiety-filled air and realized if a tornado was going to smash into the hospital nothing I did that day would have mattered to ME by then. The pie i I served a British couple, the egg drop soup I gave a homeless woman, the person I let pass me on the highway. It mattered in that moment, to those people.

Living in the moment is something very hard for people to understand. We never let ourselves laugh too hard or cry too much…enough. We limit ourselves to select moments when we can truly live and let go, in reality we should enjoy as much of the time we have on this planet; even if we are ultimately staring up at something we can’t understand.

 

 All we can do is smile, breathe & hold onto the person we love. For however long we are here.

 

 

 

In any silly way we can.

Oh, World…

Define DubStep

So here it begins. My blog.

 

Define DubStep

 

     My nerdy friend, Wikipedia, dubs the dub a genre of electronic dance music that originated in south London and the UK. Its overall sound has been described as “tightly coiled productions with overwhelming bass lines and reverberant drum patterns, clipped samples, and occasional vocals. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubstep

That’s nice Wiki, but I’d rather make fun of the music I like to pretend to have bodily seizures to.

Like this.

Urban Dictionary had a few ways of putting it…

 

Dubstep is ___

 

 

‘A genre which is filthier than fingering your sister and finding your Dad’s wedding ring…’

‘the music that is created from transformers having sex’

‘Dubstep is what Megatron sings in the Shower.’

‘The noise made when a T-rex rapes a transformer raping an angel.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Ha. Let’s look at it logically and examine each side of this phenomenon we call ‘dubstep’.

Should it be allowed or should we phase it out?

Shhh don't wake them.

 

Scenario: You’re lookin to party hard right now. Somehow you find a huge crowd of people just chilling. Because they smell amazing you figure, ‘These guys seem fun!’ and you bust out your boombox (yeah you just so happen to be carrying one around) and you look around and yell, ‘Hey guys what’s up ya tryin to fuckin’ dance!?’

 

 

Then you play you’re favorite dubstep song for all of your new friends…

 

 

 

 

 

You start you’re skank walking, your hopping, the kicks and your signature head swivel/turn/kick/punch. You start thinking to yourself,

 

 

‘Oh man I am the SICKEST dancer here! It’s like dancing with the stars but it’s me and it’s raining glowsticks down on my face! Shiiiiittttttt this bass is clutch!’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I mean, you are really getting it so to speak…

Oh snap he's skanking

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then you decide to open your eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You realize the following two things:

 

 

1. Holy shit why is it daytime?

 

 

 

2. Who in the hell is Phish?

 

  

Now, in this completely hypothetical never-would-happen scenario the polite thing to do would be to turn your music off and run. It is too late, though. For the ground has just turned to a shaking cracking eggshell and Hell is emerging from below your Nikes’. You have started the apocalypse. Lava cracks through the Earth and everyone turns toward you in a dead stare.

 

 

 

Where did the blankets go? The friendly chilling? Why are you all so angry with me?

 

 

 

 

You panic. Turns out your new friends aren’t friends at all. They have mutated (in the past 45 seconds) into eyeball-slurping limb-tearing zombies. Here you are in your brand new RayBans standing amongst blood thirsty dubstep bone crushers.

This picture is PG13 all thanks to pixels!

 

 

 

 

How does your story end?

Quickly. Along with the rest of the world because your foolish choice to play dubstep at a jamband concert has created a different species of zombie because they are cannibalistic. If you were to crack open their zombie heads this tune would come womping out…

 

 

 

 

And what does all of that even MEAN? It means you have singlehandedly murdered the human population(including yourself) through Dubstep. Good Job Brah. 

 

 

Ok a bit harsh I know.

 Cmon’

It’s not allllllll bad.

 

Why is this song good? It has balance. There is a contrast between abrasive and delicate. Ah but usually a liker of one dubstep song is a liker of all dubstep songs (or so the generalization tells us)

 

 What would happen if we took away dubstep? If the other side won?

 

 

Then dbags couldn’t keep their workout routines consistent.

Then, we’d all be in a world of hurt.

 

 

 

Local E dealers would have to resort to getting a cooking job…

It's like a pink cloud of meat...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RayBans would not sell any more sunglasses and people would become blinded from the sun.

 

Where is my lighter?

 

 

 

 Glowstick factories would implode and poison the Earth and glowing hungry dubstepper’s would scavenge the streets for music and food. With the loss of their dub they have forgotten how to eat.

  Britney would never make a comeback…

 

 

 

 

 

And Kevin would impregnate her again causing tiny raving/rapping/dubstepping Kevin Federlines to populate this planet… 

 

 

 

Then we’d all have to go through this again…

 

  

 

So on a final note dubstep will ultimately cause destruction to the Earth no matter what stance we take on.